Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
