Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
