Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
