I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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