i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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