he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
