then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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