buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
