OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize