theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
