I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
