Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
