This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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