Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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