These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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