Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
