you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
