That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
...so i touched it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
