I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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