even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
