Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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