How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
