why didn't you poke me back
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
