He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
