I need help removing her.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
