Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
