Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
