Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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