? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
