Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
