She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Terrible idea I love it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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