i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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