I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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