"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
