i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My dick has a subreddit
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
