Me. At least after what I've been through.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
