I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
