I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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