At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
