i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
