Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
