She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
