There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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