yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Betty ford says i'm here all night
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
