Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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