Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
