Having a random hookup so left but love u
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
