Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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