I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
