Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
