Apparently you make a good broom.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
