I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
