Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize