i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize