This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
