I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
