I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
