oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize