dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
