who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
