We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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