you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
