you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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