I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
