Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
