god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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