I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
