the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
