What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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