Say something about gay babies.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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