Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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